In Service

Its almost time!

2010-07-27T01:02:00.000-04:00

Right from day one with Sir, the goal has been 24/7 service. This has been something that has taken time. There have been a few reasons for this, the main one being I had a child at home. The kidlet is now heading off to school so this frees me to enter 24/7 service with Sir. From day one to now has taken aproximately 2 years.

In August we move the kid into her apartment.

The time has come!

I have spent weeks/weekends here and there at the farm. But that won't be the same as being there all the time. One concern I have is being able to be 'on' all the time. Slavery has no days off right? I think I'm my own worse enemy. I want to be the best slave I can and I hold myself to very high standards for him. High standards which are achievable on a weekend basis.... Can I do it 24/7? Should I be?

He has always been very happy with my Service. I think I'm just fretting. I never have been good at change. This definately is a big change.

I am starting to spend more time at the farm then at my previous residence up north. It's been wonderful, busy! but wonderful. Sir has been a bit of recluse for a few years but now that he has his girl in the house, people are drawing him out to be the social butterfly he is. It's a whirlwind.....next weekend we're having dinner with bdsm friends on Saturday, Sunday we're off to celebrate a kink friend's birthday and Monday (long weekend here) I am going to a service seminar that is presented by Laura Antoniou.

I haven't figured out how to post a clickable link yet so...if interested.. URL for the service seminar

http://fetlife.com/events/22647

2009-10-26T21:41:00.000-04:00

I'm at the beginning of a what promises to be a very long month. Sir is away and the mouse doesn't really want to play (sorry I couldn't resist that one)

I feel a tad selfish to be moaning about how I will miss him. My logical/practical side just tells me to keep busy and get a lot done. Lose that 10 lbs, walk that treadmill, clean those closets.

Concentrate on bettering myself to enable myself to better serve Sir. Perhaps choosing one thing a day and if that one thing gets done I have succeeded.

*ponders*

Not a bad plan at all.

I'm just thinking back on my day.....what have I done today to better enable myself to serve

well I didn't do very well on the dieting (damn lack of will power and halloween candy!)

I did do some reading.. The book I am currently reading is "Opening Up" by Tristan Taorimino. It's a good read so far. It's informative and interesting. It is a "guide to creating and sustaining open relationships"

Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity to better myself and now I have a service oriented goal :)

2009-10-26T21:31:00.000-04:00

I am suppose to be a masochist. I have always enjoyed pain in the past. I don't understand why I have problems with it now.

I like to play hard. I always have. Rough..Hard...Brutal.

The difference being is that now I'm in a relationship where I am not in control, not even a little bit.

Could I be struggling with my lack of control? It's not a 'game' anymore?

I ache for a caning but I find myself tensing......maybe it's become to important that it be a 'good' scene. Once i tense.......i can't let myself relax into the sensation. That's what it use to be.....that's how I use to think of it. "Intense sensation" .. not pain.

Now it just tends to hurt :(